


Little Boy Blue and the Man in the Moon

by EssGee



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters: Sun & Moon | Pokemon Sun & Moon Versions
Genre: Anxiety, At least at the time of writing, But the bulk of the fic / the headcanon part should still be canon compliant, Canon Compliant, Family, Father-Son Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Headcanon, Papa Kukui, The League predictions may not come true
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2019-08-25
Packaged: 2020-09-26 12:07:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20389447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EssGee/pseuds/EssGee
Summary: Ash has just won the Alolan League, and Kukui and Burnet wonder what he'll do next. They know he's likely to head to a new region once again, but they aren't ready to let go, and Kukui has something he really needs to tell Ash before he leaves. Take a dive into Kukui's past with one Delia Ketchum, and a look at Ash's childhood. Can Kukui work up the nerve, and what will Ash say if he does?Alternate description: Over 12,000 words to scream a headcanon, plus quick League predictions at the beginning and some wishful thinking at the end.





	Little Boy Blue and the Man in the Moon

**Author's Note:**

> For context, at the time this is being posted, the Alolan League is still in its semifinals. Gladion has just beaten Kiawe and Ash vs Guzma is happening now. If in a few weeks the beginning tidbits are wrong, oh well. If they wind up being right, I called them. >:3c 
> 
> Also I guess the Guzma scene near the end might not be as plausible depending on how his match ends/what he does after? But we'll see!

"Here, why don't we put it up here on the shelf for now?" Kukui suggested.

Ash beamed once again as he looked to his Alolan League trophy. He still couldn't believe it. The first ever Champion of the Alola region. "Yeah, all right!" He handed the trophy over to Kukui, who set it right on the center of the high shelf, looking down over the whole living area.

"I'm so proud of you, Ash." Kukui placed a hand on the boy's head, and Ash grinned up at him.

"We both are," Burnet added. "Those were some amazing battles."

"They really were," Ash agreed. Rowlet's narcolepsy had nearly given him a heart attack against Hau, but in the end the little guy really pulled through. Guzma had been such a fierce opponent, but Ash had finally been able to show him the true power of trust in one's Pokemon partners. He'd been so excited to face Gladion in the finals, but as tough as Silvally was, they weren't even the opponents Ash was most proud of defeating. No, that honor went to the Masked Royal. Even though he'd already won the title by then and it was "just" an exhibition, Ash still had so much fun facing his Alolan idol, and Torracat-- or, Incineroar now, rather-- had finally been able to prove himself against the Masked Royal's Incineroar like he'd yearned to do since they first met.

After all these years… It wasn't Ash's first Conference win, but something about the Orange League had always felt… off. Like it just wasn't enough to prove himself. Certainly, the 14-year-old still dreamed of winning many more trophies in the future, but this one felt extra special. Like he was finally genuinely on his way to being able to call himself a Master.

But for all the celebration, and for all that the adults didn't want to dampen the boy's excitement, there was a lingering question that needed to be asked. Kukui wanted to do it, starting after a moment, "So Ash…"

"Huh?"

But he found himself getting cold feet after that. Burnet, knowing what was on his mind, took his hand to offer a reassuring squeeze, then looked to Ash again and asked for him. "Have you given any thought to what you're going to do now?" They knew-- from talking to Delia, from hearing Ash talk about his adventures, and from keeping up in general-- that once he'd completed a League tournament, he tended to head onward to explore another new region shortly afterward. 

"What to do now?" Ash repeated. He seemed to ponder it for a moment, but then gave them a big sheepish smile. "I guess I hadn't thought that far ahead!" He laughed.

Kukui and Burnet couldn't help but let out soft laughs of their own. The boy really did live in the moment, didn't he? But that didn't ease their growing sense of dread.

Not long after, Ash would announce that he was exhausted and head up to his loft for the night, at least after being sure to tell all his Pokemon good night and that they'd all earned the best night's sleep. Pikachu and Rotom followed him up to the loft as usual, while Lycanroc got comfortable in his usual place, and Rowlet and Meltan were already asleep. Incineroar would find getting comfortable a little awkward, in his new larger and bipedal form. But soon enough, he was using Lycanroc as a pillow and passed out sprawled on the floor.

Kukui's heart swelled as he looked out over all the Pokemon. It had become harder than ever to walk across his living room at night, but he wouldn't change a thing. Carefully, he and Burnet would make their way past them all and downstairs to their room.

Once they were alone, getting ready for bed, Burnet turned to her husband. "So when are you going to tell him?" Kukui didn't answer, aside from a vague nervous noise. Burnet sighed. "I know it can't be easy, but you know you'll regret it if he leaves before you take a chance."

"I know…" Kukui admitted. "It's just… never the right time."

Burnet shook her head, sitting on the bed next to him and placing a hand on his shoulder. "It might never be the 'right' time. But he deserves to know." She leaned against him, and added more softly, "You deserve for him to know."

But over a decade of guilt and doubt plagued the professor. "Do I really?" Besides, what if Ash grew to hate him once he found out? What if it ruined the relationship they'd spent the past six months building? Then again, perhaps that  _ would _ be what Kukui deserved…

* * *

A storm brewed over the Kanto skies, and an 18-year-old Kukui rushed through the small town with his Torracat, seeking shelter before the rain hit in full force. What an inauspicious way to begin his Pokemon journey! As if it wasn't bad enough that he was so late to setting out properly.

Still, Kukui wouldn't let himself lose hope so easily. He had waited so long for this day, even though he hadn't realized it until recently. Growing up, his parents always pushed him to focus on school over training, but that didn't mean he and Torracat didn't have experience. They'd been battling together since they were both little, and training under Hala nearly every day after school for years. They'd even completed the four Grand Trials in Alola; they'd just never really traveled much in doing so. It wasn't until Guzma broke down and stormed off that things really took a turn.

"Perhaps he's not entirely wrong," Hala had admitted. When Kukui asked what his master meant, he elaborated, "Guzma's heart is filled with hate and rage. He needs to learn to honor his Pokemon and the land. But perhaps some of the blame for that rests on me, for pushing you boys so hard without giving you the chance to experience the world for yourselves." Kukui didn't understand, and assured him he was a marvelous teacher, but Hala shook his head. "In order to truly know and appreciate your place in this world, you need to see it, not just read about it in books and hear about it through teachings." It was then that he issued a request of Kukui: to set out on a journey outside of Alola, outside of the traditions he'd known all his life. A journey of self-discovery.

Kukui had been shocked at first, but the more he thought about it, and the closer he'd come to graduation, the more excited he grew. So here he was, now. Fresh out of school and ready to become a Real Proper Trainer. He had chosen Kanto for a very simple reason: he had a lifelong dream of starting a Pokemon League in Alola, and Kanto's League was the oldest and most established around. Experiencing it first-hand was sure to bring his dream closer to reality.

But first, he'd have to wait out this storm.

With some helpful directions from folks on the streets, Kukui managed to find the town's singular inn and restaurant, Pallet House. It was so small, there wasn't even a Pokemon Center. By the time he practically fell through the front door, the rain had already started coming down.

"Oh my!" exclaimed the elderly woman at the front desk. "Get inside, boy. You'll catch your death out there!"

Kukui climbed back to his feet, offering a sheepish smile. "Guess I should have checked the forecast." Not that he likely would have waited to come to Kanto even if he'd known. "Do you have any spare rooms?"

The woman nodded. "Of course. Let's get you checked in." He signed in and paid for his room, and she handed over a key. "My daughter will show you to your room. Delia, dear! We have a guest!"

To Kukui's surprise, a positively stunning girl who looked to be about his age came to answer the call. "Yes, mom! Right this way--" She stopped as she looked at Kukui. Was it his imagination, or had a faint blush crept to her face? "Right this way sir," she quickly said after, turning away before he could be sure. She seemed to regain her composure by the time they reached his room, and left him with a simple, "If you need anything, just let us know."

* * *

The rain just kept coming. Kukui should have been anxious, but he found he didn't mind. The longer he was stuck in Pallet Town, the more time he had to get to know Delia.

His second day in town began simply, with her checking in on him along with the other guests, and inviting him down to breakfast in the restaurant. But when the time came for lunch, he asked, "Would you mind sitting with me? I'm brand new to Kanto, see, and I'd love to hear more about it from a local's point of view." Delia didn't know how much help she would be, having lived all her life in Pallet, but she decided it wouldn't hurt to try. Before they knew it, Delia was being called away to help prepare dinner; they'd spent all day talking.

The third day, he sought her out early, and the two snuck out during a break in the storm to explore the town and avoid Delia's duties at the inn. She felt guilty, abandoning her mother, but it was only for the day, and it was also exciting in a way. Kukui was so handsome and interesting. She'd never seen anything like his Torracat before, and found it fascinating to exchange stories of the different kinds of Pokemon found in their home regions.

He learned that, despite not owning any Pokemon, she knew a lot about them, having studied under the prestigious Professor Oak of all people. He'd tell her about his own studies under Hala, and they'd compare and contrast their mentors' teaching styles.

She shared her dreams with him. How she wanted to be a model. "You certainly have the looks for it," he told her. But more than that, she shared how she had always wanted to become a Pokemon trainer, and take on the Gym Challenge... but ever since her father had left to pursue his own journey and never come home, she was the only person her mother had to help run Pallet House, and her duty to her family came first. Kukui couldn't help but admire her devotion.

He told her how things were in Alola, about Trials and the Island Challenge, how they didn't have Gyms or a League, but how he dreamed of creating the latter. She couldn't help but admire his ambition.

They spent all day together, continually surprised to find how much they had in common despite leading such very different lives. They'd only known each other a short time, but both were rapidly growing quite infatuated. When they headed back to the inn that night, he stole a kiss before scurrying off to his room. Delia stood stunned for a moment, quietly pressing her fingers to her lips.

She tried to be stealthy as she came back in herself, but found her mother there waiting for her. Delia began tripping over her words trying to explain herself, but Mrs. Ketchum just gave her daughter a knowing smile. "Just be careful, Delia," she told her. "And come help me with the dishes." It was nice to see her going for an honest boy this time, really. Not like that awful Giovanni who had tried to drag her into criminal life.

By the fourth day, the storm had passed, but Kukui decided he could stay in town a little longer.

By the sixth day, Torracat had grown restless, but Kukui was still reluctant to leave. "Come with me," he told her. "You wanted to be a trainer, right? Let's travel Kanto together."

Oh, how she wished she could. "I couldn't do that to mother," she lamented. "Maybe someday… If I can find someone else to take over Pallet House from her." She knew it was already really late for her, but Kukui was just starting his first proper journey, even if he did have other experience under his belt. That gave her the tiniest hope she could still cling to.

"Then… What if I stayed until you could?" he offered.

"What? I could never ask you to do that!" Putting on a faint smile, she added in a lightly teasing tone, "Besides, Torry might never forgive me if I keep you much longer." The Torracat in question myawred in agreement.

Kukui couldn't help but chuckle softly, but then grew more serious. "I hate to leave you, though. I know it's sudden, but… I think I'm falling in love with you."

A deep blush rose to her face, but she quietly answered, "I feel the same way."

Kukui's heart swelled at hearing that. "Then hey!" He beamed brightly. "Let's get married!"

"What?" As much as she cared for him- more than anyone she'd ever met before- that had to be reckless… right?

But he got down on one knee. "Yeah! Let's get engaged, and when I finish taking on the Kanto League, we can get married! Wha'd'you say?"

She considered it, and as much as her brain tried to tell her it was too hasty, her heart was already on board. She took his hands. "All right! It's a deal!"

He decided then that he would set out the very next day, now eager to see how quickly he could complete his journey to get back to her. But if he was going to be leaving right away, then… Delia did have one request. She wanted to spend this last night before he left with him, her future husband. Kukui enthusiastically agreed, and they wound up keeping each other up almost all night.

* * *

Delia probably should have felt bad for her fiance, as tired and beat up as he looked, but she couldn't stop giggling on their video call. "I can't believe it took you four whole days just to get to Viridian City!"

"It's not my fault I got lost! The road signs were horrible!" he defended, but he couldn't actually be upset with her. She was too cute.

"At this rate we won't be able to get married until we're old and gray," she continued to tease.

"Hey, it'll be worth the wait~" He flashed her a bright smile. "I love you."

"Love you, too."

* * *

"Oh no. Did you lose again?" Kukui gave her a very forced smile that didn't reach his eyes. "Oh… I'm so sorry, sweetie. I'm sure you'll get it next time!"

He sighed. "Yeah… It's fine. It's just a little setback, that's all." Torracat was struggling hard with Pewter City's Rock Gym, but Kukui was sure he could pull through eventually. "I just hope every Gym doesn't take this long."

She smiled gently. "It's okay. I'll be waiting for as long as it takes. I love you, sweetie."

"Love you, too."

* * *

"What'd you say???" Kukui's jaw had dropped, his heart had sunk, and his head was spinning.

Delia bit her lip. "I'm pregnant," she repeated.

Surely this had to be a bad joke. They'd only spent the one night together. Could she really be--... No, the look on her face was too serious. "I…" He looked to Torracat, who had no idea what those words meant, then back to Delia. "Should I… stop training?" His heart ached at the thought. He could feel his dream crumbling right in front of him, but still he offered, "We could… get married right now. I could find a job, somehow. I…"

"You don't have to do that!" she insisted. "We still have about eight months, right? And at least one of us should get a chance to chase their dreams…" A painful level of guilt stabbed at him for feeling so relieved. He knew he should take responsibility, but he'd wanted to become a Pokemon Master since he was 5, so if she said it was still okay, he would take her at her word.

They talked about it a while longer, but eventually she needed to go help her mother with the restaurant. Before she hung up, she told him, "Hey… We'll get through this together." Right. Of course. "I love you, sweetie."

"I…" Why did he find himself hesitating? "Love you too…"

* * *

Four badges down, finally. Kukui had been at this much longer than he expected, but he was making progress. "Halfway there," he told his newly evolved Incineroar. "Once we have all the badges, it's on to the League." The Pokemon knew this already, but it wasn't the first time his human had rambled on about it. He simply let him, only half listening.

"We've gotta win it," Kukui told his partner. "She's giving up so much to give us this chance. We've gotta win it for her. And... for the baby." No matter how many times he referenced the impending life, it didn't feel real. He couldn't be a father? He was too young. They were both too young. How could they have a kid when they were still just kids?

He did his best to shake off the spiraling thoughts, though. No matter how unreal it felt, it was happening. And if he was going to be a dad, he had to be the best dad, right? His kid-- Delia's kid-- deserved that. "We'll become the Champions." With endorsements and things from that, they could have an easy life. "We've gotta… Gotta be the best."

Incineroar made a noise, in agreement or just to indicate he was listening Kukui couldn't tell. But then the Pokemon looked over to the visiphone and back to Kukui questioningly. "...Ah. She's probably asleep by now. We'll… call tomorrow." This definitely wasn't an excuse.

* * *

Months passed. Seven badges down. She was really showing now, huh? Kukui wished he could share her excitement, but every time he saw her, he was overcome with dread.

"I really like Hazel for a girl," she was saying. "For a boy, maybe… Aspen? Or what would you think of Ash?" She pondered. "I suppose Ash works for a boy or a girl, huh?"

It didn't escape his notice that she was sticking to tree-based names to compliment his own, and he was flattered. But he had to force a smile. "You're the one doing all the work. So really, it should be up to you." He didn't feel like he deserved a say… and he didn't know if he really wanted one.

She frowned. "If you say so…" But it was frustrating, not being able to get any feedback. She hated feeling like she was doing this alone, even if the reality was that she had been thus far. All she wanted was some moral support.

"Ah… I should really go, there's someone behind me who's been waiting to use the phone for a while."

She sighed. "All right. Good luck on the road tomorrow, then. … I love you."

"... Yeah." Anxiety hit him like a ton of bricks the moment he hung up. Why didn't he say it back?

* * *

"It's a boy," the doctor said. Kukui barely heard her. This didn't feel real. He'd earned his eighth badge just in time, making it back to Pallet only a day before Delia went into labor. They'd had to catch a ride to the hospital in Viridian, and seeing how short the trip was by car only served to emphasize to Kukui how unnecessarily long he'd spent on his journey.

He watched as they swaddled the infant and let his mother hold him. His heart swelled with love for these two, but it was a sad, distant love. He wanted nothing but the best for them, wanted to give them the world, but didn't feel like he deserved to be part of that world with them.

When the baby was offered to him, he took him, but felt so surreal, like he was living through the haze of a far off dream.

Later, when Delia and the baby were asleep, a nurse would bring him the forms to fill out for a birth certificate. Kukui looked at the empty spot for a name. "Ash" had been her favorite, right? Perhaps he should have waited for her to wake up to ask, but there was something he wanted to do, and he didn't want her arguing with him on the matter. He filled in the name: "Ash Ketchum." Her last name, not his.

When Delia later saw and asked about it, he could only offer a strained smile. She wouldn't press him about it.

* * *

It would be about two months after Ash's birth before the League Conference was held. During this time, Kukui would stay with Delia and Ash in Pallet, doing his best to be a caring father and help her with the baby. But as much as she appreciated his efforts, she couldn't help but notice how distant he felt. They didn't stay up long into the night talking anymore. Had she done something wrong? Had the fire that had burned so hot so fast between them gone out already? Or were they both just too tired from dealing with the baby? She wondered, and worried, but couldn't bring herself to ask.

One day, her mother came by while Kukui rocked the baby to sleep. Looking fondly at the pair, she told her daughter, "I'm glad he came back. For a while, I was worried he would be like your father."

"Mm…" Ash's grandfather was always a sore subject. The way he'd just disappeared after he set out, Delia never did know if something terrible had happened, if he'd failed to achieve anything and was just too ashamed to come home, or if he was out living his best life somewhere with no thought for the family he'd abandoned. In an odd way, she hoped it was the latter; as resentful as it made her, she hoped he was happy and safe.

"So when is the wedding?" her mother asked.

Delia pursed her lips. She had been afraid to ask, but then she simply shook her head and smiled. "We said when he was done with his journey," she reasoned. "It's not over until he faces the League, after all." In her heart, she knew this was just delaying her pain, but she could put it off a while longer.

* * *

Kukui sat with Incineroar, staring at the ground. He couldn't believe it… They'd lost.

Not only had they lost, but early in the tournament. And every round that passed after, he would watch to realize just how many trainers here could have wiped the floor with him. All his effort… felt like it was for nothing.

"Incineroar… What are we going to do?" He had wanted so badly to become Champion, not just for his sake but for Ash's. With that kind of money, he could have ensured his new family had an easy life. He could have paid new employees to work Pallet House for Delia's mother's sake, and taken Ash and Delia back to Alola with him. He could have… done so many things that he supposed didn't matter anymore.

Now he was at an impasse. Delia was not going to leave her mother alone, but Kukui didn't want to spend the rest of his life in Kanto. Quieter, he repeated, "What are we going to do…"

* * *

After a month of searching unsuccessfully for a job, Kukui was finally offered a break. Professor Oak needed someone to help out around the lab, and he gladly jumped at the position.

At first, it was just for the money. But within a few days, he was reminded of how much he genuinely loved working with all manners of Pokemon. Of course he knew he loved battling, but this was different. Helping care for them, earning their trust, helping mediate any problems that arose between different Pokemon… It was all so refreshing.

He worked long hours, but when he would come home, he finally seemed happy and content, more than Delia could remember seeing him in months. She didn't dare press her luck by asking if they could get married now, but she hoped perhaps things were finally turning around.

However, while working with him, Kukui would also get to know Professor Oak more. "You have incredible potential, my boy," Oak told him one day. "If you keep it up, perhaps you could inherit the lab from me one day." The statement was meant to be harmless, but it got the wheels in Kukui's head turning.

* * *

"You want to  _ what? _ " Delia wished she could say she 'didn't believe' what she was hearing, but she did. It was just really disappointing.

"Think about it, Delia," he insisted. "If I get my doctorate I could make so much more. I could provide for you and Ash  _ properly. _ If I could make it as high as a regional professor position, there's no imagining how many doors it would open, but even if I couldn't, it would have to be better than any entry level position."

She bit her lip. She didn't  _ care _ about being rich and powerful. All she wanted was a doting family for her son making enough to get by. "What are we supposed to do in the meantime? Just… keep waiting forever?"

He winced. "It wouldn't be forever. Just a few years. I'll work my butt off! I'll cram double hours if I need to." He looked over to the bassinet where their son slept. "Besides, he's still so small. I… I know it's not entirely fair to ask you to raise him alone, but I could be done by the time he's old enough to remember. If you could just give me a little more time…"

She looked him in the eyes, and, to her chagrin, found her heart moved by the amount of conviction she found there. He really wanted this. Reluctantly, she forced a smile. "All right… Just… please, don't take too long."

* * *

Kukui moved back to Alola for school. At first, he called every night or two-- three tops when he was busy, and those came with apologies. Delia would set Ash on her lap in front of the screen and let him coo and fuss at his father, and Kukui would coo back and make silly faces for him. Even if he wasn't physically there, Delia could see they were bonding, and it was nice.

But over time, the calls slowly became less and less frequent. "So sorry," he'd say every time. "I got swamped again." He was visibly exhausted, and she knew how hard he must be working trying to do this as quickly as possible, so she couldn't fault him, but.. it still hurt.

Months passed. Once again, May rolled around. "I'm so, so sorry." His voice was strained. "I still  _ want _ to be there, but finals start that week, and if I don't ace them all I'm gonna lose my scholarship." Delia's heart sank. Ash's first birthday was coming up. "I'll be sure to send him some presents and call that night!" he insisted. "If I could afford tuition on my own I'd risk it to be there but--"

"It's fine," she cut him off. "Good luck on your finals, Kukui." She sounded a little too calm.

"I… I love you both." It was the first time in a while he'd said it.

"Mm." Delia didn't say it back before hanging up.

* * *

Ash had become something of an attraction at Pallet House, the locals who came in every day to eat in the restaurant section always happy to see him. "You helping your mom again today, big guy?" they'd say. "If it isn't my favorite employee!" they'd tease. He still wasn't quite 2.

Delia was glad the customers appreciated his presence, though, and that they were nearly always understanding whenever he would cry or need attention. It made caring for him so much easier now that she was running Pallet House by herself.

Her mother had died some months ago. She still hadn't told Kukui. He had enough stress with school, she told herself. Besides, she was getting used to doing things alone.

* * *

Kukui had been able to keep his grades up and complete his undergrad program already, but grad school was far more brutal than he'd imagined. During undergrad, he'd found time to visit at least a handful of times, even if it wasn't always when he would have liked. He still felt bad about missing Ash's first two birthdays, and it looked like he wouldn't make the third this year either. But it would be worth it, he told himself, to be able to give his son a life of luxury. It was just a little longer, right…?

* * *

How long had it been since his last call? How much longer since his last visit? "Mama!" The 3-year-old Ash called Delia's attention. "Mama!"

"What is it, sweetie?" She knelt down to his level.

"Dad?" He pointed to the phone, and her heart sank. "Talk Dad!"

She shook her head. "You know we wait for Daddy to call us. He's very busy."

He pouted. "Why? What Dad do?" It was the first time he'd ever really asked. She was almost surprised it had taken him this long, but his language development  _ had _ been a little delayed. 

She didn't know what possessed her to do so, but she smiled and told him, "Why, your dad is a Pokemon trainer!" She saw his eyes grow wide; he already loved watching battles on tv. "He travels all over, and raises really strong Pokemon!"

"So cool!" he exclaimed. "Ash Pokemon too!"

She giggled. "You wanna be a trainer, too?" He nodded furiously. "All right!" She then teased, "But you have to eat  _ all _ your vegetables so you'll grow into a really strong trainer."

To her surprise, he just yelled, "Vegebles!!" and ran off to the kitchen.

Delia couldn't help but sputter a laugh. "Not  _ right now _ silly!" Merciful Mew, this boy was a handful.

* * *

Kukui stared at the calendar with a sense of dread. Somehow, it had been two months since his last call. Over two months now. He'd missed calling on Ash's third birthday. Every day that passed since had made him increasingly more aware of how long it had been, and the longer it had been the more he dreaded it, so the longer he put it off, until now he was here.

But finally, he bit the Bullet Punch and dialed the number. Delia answered with a simple, "Yes?" Just yes? No 'what took you so long', no 'what is wrong with you'?

"...Hey." He swallowed. He didn't know what to say to her. "Could I talk to Ash?"

"Ash is at a friend's house," she informed him. "You remember, Professor Oak's grandson."

"Ah…" So now what? There was nearly a minute of awkward silence before he started, "Delia, look. I'm sorry I'm doing such a bad job keeping in touch, I--"

She shook her head. "It's fine." It was? "I know you're busy." That should have been a relief, but she seemed a bit too serene as she said it.

"Is… Are you sure everything's all right?"

"Things are perfect," she said. "I make enough for us to get by. Everyone in town loves Ash." She went on. "I told him you were still on your Pokemon journey, and now he couldn't admire you more."

"What? Why would you--"

"I wanted him to think well of you, and you know battles are his favorite thing right now." Her smile became a little more strained. "Or, well, maybe you wouldn't know that." Kukui's heart wrenched inside his chest. "Maybe it was a little inspired by my dad, too," she admitted. "He never came home from his journey, but growing up, I used to have so much fun imagining what he might be doing now."

Kukui's sense of dread grew stronger. "But I won't be like that," he argued. "I'll be done with school in just another… probably two years, but it's over halfway over, it's--"

She shook her head. "Kukui." She was flat, tired, but calm. "Do you still love me?"

A chill came over him. "I…" The last thing he wanted was to break her heart, but he knew the answer, and it was breaking his own to realize. "I admire you," he didn't answer. "You're such a strong woman, and such a devoted mother. I want nothing but the best for you."

"I want good things for you, too," she replied. "But do you still love me?" To make her point clearer, she asked, "If not for Ash, would you still want to marry me?"

He nearly said 'I don't know', but he knew that was sugarcoating. Reluctantly, he answered, "No…"

Her sigh sounded… relieved? "Then we're on the same page," she admitted. He opened his mouth, but she cut him off with another shake of her head. "It's fine. We were young and reckless. It happens."

How could she sound no nonchalant about that? Their recklessness had shaped the rest of her life! "I'm still so sorry. But listen! I've made a lot of contacts here in school, on top of still having Hala to rely on. The odds of finding a great job right out of school are better than ever, and once that happens I can still--"

"I don't want your money, Kukui."

He stopped cold. "What?" 

"I don't… want anything anymore," she admitted. "We're happy just like we are, and…" She sighed softly. "I think you've made it abundantly clear by now that trying to be part of our lives has become a burden to you. So honestly, I think it would be better if you just… stop trying."

"What are you saying?" His eyes began to sting. "I… I've been working so hard for Ash. I wanted to be a dad he could be proud of. I…"

"But you can be," she said far too sweetly. "You should have seen how happy it made him to think of you training Pokemon. I realized then that letting him project whatever image he wants onto the idea of you sounds nicer than watching the real you disappoint him over and over." Kukui emitted a jumble of sputtered noises, but before he could form a proper word Delia snapped, "He was  _ devastated _ when you missed his birthday, Kukui."

"I… I'm sorry. I was up until early that morning studying and then blacked out for most of the day and--"

"I don't want to hear it." He shut his mouth. "Listen, Kukui. I'm tired. I'm tired of the endless excuses why you can't be involved in your son's life. He doesn't need a Champion or a Professor, he just wants a father. You're not pursuing all these lofty goals for him. You're doing it for you, because  _ you _ need to feel 'good enough'."

"Delia…" Was… that true? Had he only been telling himself it was for Ash's sake to feel better? He just didn't know now.

"Well  _ no more. _ I'd rather have him grow up just like I did than let you break his heart one more time." He couldn't find any words to respond. She took a deep breath to regain her composure. "Please. Don't call again."

Kukui didn't know what to do, what to say. His world was crumbling around him… and yet, on the other side of the walls that came down, vast fields extended off into the horizon. "...I'm sorry," he sighed. "You're… probably right." He felt numb. He couldn't believe he was agreeing, walking away from his only child. But then, it wasn't like he had ever asked to be a parent, and he'd proven an utterly shitty one thus far. Maybe… it was better to walk away. "Please, just… tell Ash I love him."

Delia was almost mad at him all over for agreeing, but in the end her gratitude to not have to argue it won out over that feeling. "I will," she promised. "And… good luck finishing school, Kukui. I hope you have a wonderful life."

"Yeah…" he agreed. "You too." He hung up, and nothing felt real. This whole wild chapter of his life was just… over, just like that, and yet it would always hang over him still. But worse, an overwhelming guilt wracked his body and made him nauseous. Guilt caused by the fact that, as heartbroken as he was, he also found himself feeling… relieved…

* * *

Months passed. Delia felt a little better, knowing she could no longer get her hopes up only to have them let down again, knowing Ash was less likely to either. But she still wondered if she'd done the right thing.

It was only a matter of time until Ash eventually caught her crying one night. "Mama…? What's wrong?"

Oh no. She quickly dried her tears and straightened up. "Oh, it's nothing, sweetie!" she assured him, but he didn't believe her.

"Are you hurt?"

"No, sweetie, I'm fine!" But he was a clever boy, so she had to tell him something. "I guess I just… miss your father." A bit of a sugarcoated version of the truth, but part of her did miss the enthusiastic young trainer she'd fallen in love with in the first place, so neither was it a lie, exactly.

Ash frowned, and climbed up onto the couch next to her. "Why hasn't Dad called in so long?"

Eager to protect the boy's innocent heart, she put on a smile. "Why, didn't I tell you?" she feigned. "He's traveling to some really far off lands, where only the best trainers can go!" As always when she shared these stories, Ash quickly grew starry eyed. "It's so far away and so dangerous that they don't even have Pokemon Centers, so he can't call anymore," she 'explained'. "But there are so many rare and powerful Pokemon!"

"Awesome!!" He brought his clenched fists up to his chest. "When I grow up, I wanna go there too!"

She smiled and nodded, petting his hair. "Someday, when you're a real Pokemon Master."

* * *

Pallet was always behind on the times, but eventually even it was swept up in the age of technology. Ash was 5 now, and Delia was finally buying their first home computer. But in introducing him to the internet, she worried what he might find. When she told him they would be getting a computer and explained all the ways it could be useful, he had replied, "So I can look up cool stuff about different Pokemon?"

"That's right!"

"Awesome! Maybe I can even learn about some of the rare ones where Dad is!"

That innocuous statement got her thinking and worrying more and more. So that night, she sat him down. Rather than wait for him to think of it himself, she explained that it would be possible for him to try looking for his father or even her father, his grandfather, on the internet. So she had to warn him now, he wouldn't find them.

She had told him they were both top trainers, but… "You've never seen any reports of your father or grandfather being elected to the top trainers list in any magazine or journal, have you?"

He shot upright with realization. "Yeah! I've never seen it!"

She went on to add there were many great trainers, even masters, outside that list, but… There was also a general trainer registration list with every trainer in the world, and if Ash looked there… he still wouldn't find his father or grandfather.

"Why?" Ash asked.

Now she had a choice to make. "Your dad and grandpa… aren't authorized yet. In other words, they don't actually have their full trainer's licenses yet." She bit her lip. The whole point of having this talk was to avoid him potentially catching her in a lie, and here she was covering it with a new lie. Certainly this story was true of her own father, for whom she had searched numerous times in the trainer database. But…

For _his_ father, she knew he would be looking for a Mr. Ketchum. She had always told Ash that she and his father had been married. Pallet Town was small and everyone knew her from Pallet House, so she had even gotten everyone to refer to her as "Mrs." Ketchum to hide that it was actually her maiden name. The boy was only 5, after all. Not only did she want him to think he came from a 'normal' family for as long as possible, but he was under the impression that being married was part of where babies came from. She certainly didn't need him asking questions about how they were made if he learned that wasn't true.

Eventually, Ash asked, "What are they doing now? Dad and Grandpa?"

"I don't knooow," she admitted."They probably really are training in their own way, but they've never been put on the list, so…" She sighed. "It's so fruitless."   
  
"It's so fruitless," he repeated, and she wondered if he really knew what the words meant or was just trying them out, as he sometimes did.

She shook off her thoughts. "But that doesn't mean your efforts are fruitless! I don't want you to worry about your dad or grandpa from now on. It's up to you if you want to become a trainer, Ash."

He sighed softly. "Dang. Uncool."

A breath of a laugh escaped her. "Yeah. Uncool." She was so relieved that that was his worst reaction. "...But Ash," she finally decided to add.

"Yeah?"

"Even though I lied about your father's status as a trainer, I want you to know there are some things I've never lied about." She smiled softly. "He really is a passionate man who loves Pokemon deeply. And he really does love you with all his heart." Slowly, but surely enough, Ash smiled. "Please try not to be too angry with him, all right? It would be nice to be together as a family, but sometimes grown-up life is… complicated. So maybe you won't want to be just like your dad anymore… But know that he's still a good man."

"All right." He moved closer to hug her tight. "Thanks mom."

She pet his hair softly. "Of course, Ash." After a few moments of comfortable silence, she asked, "So… Do you still want to be a Pokemon trainer?"

He beamed up at her. "Nope!" Oh?? "I'm gonna be a Pokemon  _ Master! _ " 

Delia giggled. "That's my boy."

* * *

Delia wondered if his number still worked. If not, she wasn't going to sweat it; she'd given the barest minimum effort, and that was all that could be expected of her. But to her surprise, Kukui answered, "Delia?" There was a pause. "It's… been a long time. ...Is everything all right?"

"Everything's fine," she answered. "Ash set out on his Pokemon journey today. He started with a Pikachu."

Kukui blinked slowly, struggling to take in such simple statements. Had it really been that long? He couldn't believe Ash was already 10. And at the same time, Ash was  _ only _ 10\. "Are you sure he's ready?"

Delia's mouth twitched. She didn't especially like that he was acting concerned  _ now _ , but she wouldn't snap at him. "I would have given anything to be able to start a journey at 10," she explained. "I never got to chase my dream, but I can give him the chance to."

Kukui couldn't argue with that. The best trainers usually were the ones who started young. But that left him with another question. "So how are you holding up?"

This time, she supposed the concern was appreciated. "I think I'll be all right. It's… going to be lonely without him here. But I'll be happy knowing he's seeing the world, and who knows. Maybe I can pick up some new hobbies in my free time."

"Heh. In that case, good luck."

She smiled. "Anyway… I didn't really want to talk. I just wanted to let you know he's a trainer now."

Kukui nodded. "I'll keep an eye on the Kanto League news, then. Thanks for telling me, Delia."

* * *

Years passed.

Kukui sat in front of his computer, looking at the latest news out of Kalos. Runner-up to the Kalos League, Ash Ketchum. He printed out the article, along with a few pictures he was able to find of Ash with his various Pokemon. Greninja was particularly fascinating. What on earth made it transform that way, when Greninja weren't said to have a Mega Evolution? He supposed at this point, he didn't put much past his son.

He clipped out the pictures and bits of the article once they were printed, and glued them into a scrapbook he'd made of Ash's achievements. Top 16 in his first ever League in Kanto. Winner of the Orange Conference after. Top 8 in Johto, Hoenn, and Unova. Top 4 in Sinnoh. And now second place in Kalos. Not to mention a few smaller competitions, both battle and non-battle, here and there. His Battle Frontier victory, some races, some PokeRinger competitions, and the like. He tended to search for Ash in any news at least once a month, if not more often.

As much as he imagined the boy must be frustrated by not outright winning more of the Leagues he'd entered, Kukui himself was amazed he'd gotten so consistently far, especially at his age. He'd been 19 by the time he entered his first League, and had gotten his ass thoroughly handed to him. Nowadays he was much more competent, undefeated for several years running in the Battle Royal dome, but he didn't have the time or drive to try another League competition. Meanwhile, Ash had just turned 14, and already done so much.

He flipped through the pages of his scrapbook fondly, wondering what Ash would do next.

* * *

Just a few weeks later, that familiar number popped up on his phone, the first time in over four years. "Delia? What's up?" When she didn't answer right away, he added, "I saw how well Ash did in Kalos. He really is getting stronger every year, isn't he?"

She smiled as she sighed softly. "So you  _ have _ been keeping up."

Somberly, he replied, "Of course I have…"

There was another brief silence, but just before he decided to speak up, she finally broke it: "Kukui. Mimey-- er, my Mr. Mime… He just won us family tickets to Hau'oli City."

Kukui nearly dropped the phone. "Are you saying… Do you want to see me while you're here?"

"Mm." Perhaps she should be over it after all these years, but that still hurt to think about. "I don't think  _ I _ want to, but…"

That was fair, but. "I can see Ash...?" That spot of hope was immediately replaced by fear. "Would he even want to see me?"

"About that. I put away all the pictures of you a long time ago, and I never call you by name. I really don't think he would know you if he saw you. So… If you wanted to just… meet him, without telling him…" She corrected herself. "What I mean to say is, I would prefer you not tell him."

But Kukui didn't need to be told twice. He was already lost in a fantasy of how idealistic that would be. "I could have a clean slate," he said. "I could get to know him without worrying about--... Yes. Please, I would love that." But right, he should probably be asking questions! "When are you coming? And how long will you be staying?"

"In two weeks, and the tickets are for a weekend visit." Just one weekend, huh? His heart sank a little, but he would take-- "But…"

"But?"

She laughed softly. "The thing is… I know Ash. As soon as he gets a whiff of new Pokemon and new challenges, he's bound to be begging to stay in Alola."

Kukui perked up. "Yeah??"

"So I thought, perhaps when he's travelling… you could keep an eye on him?"

"Of course!" he said immediately, but then gears belatedly turned. "Or… Maybe…"

"Maybe what?"

"Alola is a small region, and it isn't like we have a Gym circuit like other places he's been… But if he wants new knowledge and experiences… See, I teach at a Pokemon school now."

"Oh?" It was nice to hear he'd made some use of that degree.

"Yeah. So what if… What if we showed him the school, and maybe see if he would wanna enroll?" He hoped he wasn't overstepping his bounds as he went on, "If he did, then maybe… he could live with me while he's attending."

Delia raised a hand to cover her mouth. "Oh…" Kukui chewed the inside of his mouth nervously, but then she went on, "That would be… wonderful?"

"Yeah??"

"The biggest downside to letting him travel has been worrying he might have needed to grow up a little too much too fast to take care of himself. Of course he's always had friends to look after him, but… Oh, it would be so nice to know he could pursue his dream  _ and _ have a real adult looking after him for a while."

Kukui's heart raced. "I'd be thrilled to have him!" Ahhh, man he was gonna have to clean out the loft to turn into a guest room or something. And he'd have to get back into the habit of cooking more often rather than ordering takeout. Fortunately, he did know _how_ to cook fairly well though. "You're sure you'd be okay with it?"

She nodded. "I think so. It's been long enough I'm not really angry anymore," she explained. "And when Mimey won those tickets, I guess… it felt like a sign." She beamed proudly. "He's an amazing young man, you know. And I feel like you should have a chance to get to know him."

"I won't waste it," he promised her. "Thank you so much, Delia."

"Don't thank me yet," she warned. "We still have to see if he wants to stay."

"Right," he agreed. "Fingers crossed."

* * *

So nothing went according to plan in terms of introducing Ash to the school, but somehow fate worked itself out and he still wound up stumbling across it and falling in love with the idea. He didn't seem to recognize Kukui, and Kukui did his very best to pretend he was just now meeting Ash. And when Kukui offered to let Ash stay with him, the boy jumped at the offer.

About a month later, Delia would return to Alola for open house. As she approached the door to Kukui's beach home, she could hear Ash inside arguing with someone. She stopped to eavesdrop, but it was a voice she didn't recognize, strange and robotic. Soon after, though, she heard Kukui's voice, gentle and encouraging. It reminded her how hard it would be to face him directly again, and made her nerves spike a little, but it was also so nice to hear him being supportive.

She took a deep breath, steeled her nerves, put on her cutest smile, and knocked. Once inside, she turned to Kukui. "Professor, it's nice to meet you! I'm Delia, Ash's mom. Thank you for looking after my son."

Despite himself, Kukui rubbed the back of his head. She was.. laying it on awfully thick. Did she really think Ash would buy that they hadn't talked at all last time she was in Alola? That she'd just said "okay have fun" to him asking to stay with a strange adult without meeting that adult first? But he played along regardless. "No problem. I totally enjoy having Ash here." Wait, did that sound too personal? "He's a great student," he added. Fortunately, focus quickly moved to Ash and all his new Pokemon.

They moved to the couch as Ash offered to fetch his mom some tea, and Kukui showed her Ash's school report so far while Delia fawned over all the Pokemon. Delia was so pleased to see Ash getting some more structured education even if it was only for a little while-- and more than that, to see that Kukui was helping him to enjoy such an environment-- and Kukui found his heart melting at seeing her dote on everyone. It seemed he'd matured and gotten better at handling responsibility, while she hadn't really changed a bit.

They would wind up talking a bit later, on the way to school as Ash and his Pokemon ran ahead. She'd been keeping in touch with Principal Oak to keep an ear on how things were going, but had heard nothing but good things, and that combined with seeing how well the two seemed to be getting along for herself really put her mind at ease.

The spark was gone between them, but so was the animosity, she had realized. Seeing him make this effort with Ash, she had finally truly forgiven him. And now, being around him held a certain comfortable familiarity. She would probably start keeping in touch after this.

"Kukui…" she said just before they arrived at the school. "I've been giving it some thought, and… If you want to tell him, you can." He looked shocked for a moment, but she just smiled sweetly.

"I…" Nerves ate him alive, leaving nothing in their wake, yet somehow he still managed to breathe out slowly. "I'll think about it."

Later that day, open house would be interrupted by some Skull thugs, but Delia of all people would help to drive them off by commanding Ash's Pokemon. Watching her, it was evident just how much fun she was having with that little taste of trainer life, and Kukui had to wonder if she and her Mr. Mime ever battled during her free time. Some part of him did feel bad for her, that she never got to pursue that dream, but mostly he just found himself thinking of how much of Ash's passion must have come from his mother. 

Afterward, she rallied the students to help her fix a flower bed that had been uprooted in the commotion. As generous and kind as ever, it seemed. Kukui could agree, he no longer had any romantic interest in her, but he still admired her deeply, and it was nice to be around her again.

* * *

So many adventures came and went. So many times his heart nearly stopped as Ash did something stupid and dangerous, only to swell with pride when the boy came out on top. 

They met numerous Legendary Pokemon and Ultra Beasts together, things Kukui never would have dreamed of happening, let alone all so close together. Perhaps Ash was some kind of magnet for cosmic forces, but personally, Kukui would simply thank the Tapu for making their time together such a memorable one.

They shared meals and laughs. Though Ash didn't know it, Kukui shared a bit more of his world with him when he made him "Ash Royal" for a day. Even the quiet and domestic times were ones to remember.

Unexpectedly, Kukui had also fallen in love during this time. "Burnet…" he began one day, shortly after they started dating. "There's something you ought to know before this gets more serious."

"Hm?"

He chewed his lip a moment, but then decided to just be straightforward and say it. "Ash is my son."

She blinked. "What about it?"

"...Huh???" He went through a few different facial expressions before settling on squinting. "You knew?"

A finger touched her cheek. "I guess I didn't 'know', but I sort of assumed?" She smiled at him. "You guys have such a cute father-son dynamic! Plus he looks just like you~"

Kukui's face heated up at those words. "You really think so?" But if she could tell, who else could? Also, how quickly would she see through his disguise as the Masked Royal? (Not very, as it turned out.) "H-he doesn't know, so don't say anything," he was quick to add.

"Oh, really? Good thing you said something." She made a zipper motion over her mouth. "My lips are sealed though."

He nodded. A few moments later, he asked, "So… It doesn't bother you?"

"That you have a kid?" She tilted her head. "Not at all. I think it's super sweet~" Besides, Lusamine had kids Ash's age, too, and Burnet was still into her, so she was kind of used to the idea? She knew Kukui, while accepting of her being polyamrous, didn't especially like hearing about her other dalliances, though, so she wouldn't say that out loud. "You two are adorable together!"

Kukui smiled softly. He knew he was onto something with this woman.

* * *

Everyone was on the edge of their seats for the final match of the Manalo Conference, the first ever final of the Alolan League. Kukui had dreamed of building a League here ever since he was 5-- nearly 30 years now. And he'd taken baby steps here and there. But having Ash with him had really inspired him to step it up into gear. After all, he wanted Ash to be able to take part in it.

Perhaps building a League specifically hoping his own son would win was a little selfish or disingenuous, but hey. No one was perfect, right? Besides, he didn't plan to go easy on him as the Masked Royal after the tournament, if Ash did make it that far. In a way, this League was also for himself. As part of his personal redemption for never making it far in another region's League, he wanted to face the strongest trainer in all of Alola to see if he could win. The fact that his brand identity helped draw in more competitors was a happy bonus.

As Kukui headed out to watch Ash and Gladion face off, though, he came across Guzma. They stared each other down without a word, tension so thick you could cut it with a dull knife. Finally, though, Guzma looked away with a "Tch." He sneered. "Don't think I'm giving up just because I lost."

Kukui sighed tensely. "Guzma…" He wished there was something he could say to his former friend, but he knew the man was as stubborn as they came.

Guzma ignored him at first anyway, starting to walk on past, but then he stopped. "Your boy's impressive, though," he admitted.

"...My boy?"

Guzma shook his head. "He has your infuriating eyes." Hala had said something similar a while back. Again Kukui wondered how many people could tell or just assumed. "Wouldn'ta pegged you for the type ta have a bastard running around, mind you." It took all Kukui's willpower to only clench his jaw and fist rather than turning to punch him for calling Ash that. "Guess even the golden boy wasn't perfect."

The idea that Guzma might be trying to hold this information over his head came to mind. "What'll it take to keep your mouth shut?"

But Guzma just raised a brow, then barked a curt laugh. "You think that's blackmail-worthy?" Now he had to wonder if it was, but ultimately he shook his head. "Y'all are so sickeningly cute, it'd just give you more publicity to make a scene." Kukui breathed out a slow sigh of relief. "Anyway, I'm out for now." He had to go figure out what he was supposed to do next. As he walked off, though, he called back, "Make sure you treat that boy right, Kukui."

Quietly, more to himself than to Guzma, he replied, "Always."

* * *

The trophy stood tall over the living area the morning after they got home. Not far off on the wall hung the painting Mina had done of what Ash's friends had dubbed "Ash's Alolan family".

Kukui yawned as he came up the stairs, only to see Ash already dressed on the couch scarfing down a bowl of cereal. "Well well. You're up bright and early!"

Ash let out several incoherent sounds through a mouth full of cereal, earning a chuckle from Kukui, before he swallowed to try again. "Lillie and Gladion have a few leads on places their dad might've been seen, so we're gonna go take the Ride Pokemon and check 'em out!"

"Ah!" He wished Braviary was big enough to ride; he'd offer to come help. "Well hurry up and get ready, then. You don't wanna keep them waiting!"

Burnet's mouth twisted slightly as she overheard them, and as she reached the top of the stairs, she looked between Ash and Kukui. She walked over to the latter and nudged him. "Hm?" She nudged a little harder, then looked at Ash. Another moment of confusion followed, then a dawning realization. "...Ah." He supposed… this really was as good a time as any.

"...hey Ash," he started, moving to sit on the other couch.

"Ya??"

"Do you ever… wish you could find  _ your _ dad?"

Ash looked up mid-bite, and Rotom let out an urgent beeping noise before exclaiming "I can't be here!" and zooming up to the loft. Kukui frowned.  _ Subtle _ , Rotom… He was another one that knew, though, having analyzed their similarities, and having been sworn to secrecy immediately upon revealing that he knew.

Ash slowly put down his spoon. He wasn't used to such emotionally loaded questions, let alone at 5:30 in the morning. "Why do you ask?" was his eventual reply.

Kukui didn't want to give too much away, so he just answered, "I was just curious is all."

Ash frowned as he thought about it. Sensing his partner's shift in mood, Pikachu quickly climbed into Ash's lap to comfort him. One corner of his mouth twitched up briefly. "Thanks, Buddy." Ash softly pet Pikachu as his thoughts continued to wander back and forth.

"I don't really know," he finally answered. "I guess I should? I mean, what kind of kid doesn't wanna meet their dad, right?" He forced what could loosely be called a laugh, a sad, pitiful sound. "I guess it'd be nice to know where he's been all this time." His voice was distant. "And what he's been doing…" He trailed off into a weak mumble, "that was so important…"

Kukui's heart plummeted straight through the floor, and he found himself with such cold feet that they rooted him to the spot. Burnet's hand moved to cover her mouth. Maybe it hadn't been a good idea to push him after all…

Ash shrugged, trying to paste on a smile even though he was clearly still upset. "But honestly, I'm fine. Lillie and Gladion  _ miss _ their dad, so I really hope we can find him." Even if he couldn't relate to how Lillie could miss him without remembering him. Maybe she'd connected to him through the Magearna journal. "I only have a few memories of mine, and I can't really remember his face. So I guess I got used to just not thinking about it."

His smile became more genuine and broader as he wiped the back of his hand across his nose. "Besides, I already have a huge family!"

Kukui and Burnet both looked to him in surprise. "You do?" Kukui asked. Burnet had finished making herself a drink in the kitchen, and now moved to sit beside Kukui.

"Yeah!" Ash looked down to Pikachu and smiled. "I've got dozens and dozens of Pokemon now!" he started. "And Professor Oak is like a grandpa to me. And all the friends I've traveled with and gone to school with here are like my siblings." His smile became nostalgic. "Especially Misty and Brock! You remember them, right?" They had traveled with him the longest, after all. He laughed softly. "And some of my siblings have  _ lots _ of siblings, too! So if I count all of them, my extended family keeps  _ growing _ and  _ growing! _ " He made emphatic gestures with his hands.

Burnet couldn't help herself, clasping her hands together as her eyes watered. "Oh, Ash, that's so sweet!"

Ash smiled sheepishly, looking down again. "And then, I guess… There's you guys… right?"

"Huh?" said the professors in near unison.

"You've been… my Alolan family, right?" His friends had called them that, and they hadn't objected, but he'd felt that way for even longer. "... That's okay, isn't it?"

Burnet was crying now. "Oh! Sweetie of course it's okay!" She wiped her tears, but then decided she should really keep her mouth shut and see what Kukui had to say.

"It's more than okay," Kukui agreed, fighting back a faint watering in his eyes now too. Pushing down nerves at the thought of saying it, Kukui told him, "We love you, Ash."

The boy's grin grew wide, and a tinge of red colored his cheeks. "I love you guys, too!" Oh no… Burnet's tears kept coming, and Kukui looked like he was going to cry now. Oh well. Ash shook his head. "So yeah! Who needs some dumb old dad who was never even around when I've got family like you!" Kukui lurched forward slightly as he began to sob. Huh? Why did he break down there? "Are you okay, Professor?"

Kukui pursed his lips and shook his head, and Burnet rubbed his back.

"What's wrong?"

Where did he even start? "I'm so sorry, Ash…" Maybe not the most effective thing without context.

Sure enough, the boy looked positively befuddled. "For what?"

Kukui dragged his hands down over his face. This was going nowhere. He couldn't find the words. Maybe… he didn't need to tell him, after all. Ash loved him, and he loved Ash. Ash already considered him family. In the end, maybe that was all that was important. … But then, as heartwarming as that sounded, he would always know he let that foundation be built on a lie, and that through his own fear of rejection, he had allowed Ash to continue living his life thinking there was some mysterious man out in the world who didn't care about him. He couldn't do that.

Suddenly, Burnet had a thought, and suggested, "Kukui. What about the scrapbook?"

"Scrapbook?" Ash asked.

That just might work. "I… Yeah." Kukui nodded. "Let me go get it." Ash and Burnet waited as Kukui went downstairs. It felt hard to breathe, but he somehow made it back up with the book in hand. He opened it to the more recent pages, and handed it to Ash before taking his seat again.

Ash looked it over, surprised to see the pages filled with pictures of and articles about him and his Pokemon. There was a picture of him with Poipole, with Meltan, with Lycanroc, with Garchomp in his Ultra Guardian outfit. He turned a page forward and found it blank, no time yet to have added Ash's League victory, so he turned two back. Here was Nebby, and there was him with Sophocles and Kiawe winning the Charjabug race. One of his essays for class was on the other page, taped in. How embarrassing? But flattering, too. "You made this?"

Kukui nodded, and Ash turned back another page, and another. Pikachu moved around and up onto his shoulder to see, too. He reached the Kalos section. "Oh, whoa. I didn't expect you'd have stuff from other regions." He went back farther, and farther. Unova, too…? His smile had faded in favor of a perplexed, almost concerned look. "How far back does it go?"

Kukui took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. "Back to the beginning." The very beginning, really. "I started making that book when you were 10." That alone set off alarm bells in Ash's head, but then he added, "But some of the things at the front are older than that." Kukui's thoughts were racing so hard it physically hurt his head, and his vision had begun to blur. Still, he tried to sound calm. "You should take a look."

With fear outweighed by morbid curiosity, Ash quickly closed the book and opened it from the front cover. There, in the beginning, was a card-sized version of his birth certificate, and several pictures. Ash would be drawn to the latter first: pictures of Kukui and his mom with a baby boy. "Is this…" Only then did his eyes find the birth certificate, and read his father's name.

He couldn't believe this. He didn't know if he wanted to believe it. But he flipped through another set of pages. More pictures, some with just him, or him and his mom, but some containing Kukui too. Gradually, the child in the photos started to look less like a generic infant and more like a younger him. When he got to a snippet about him winning Kanto's Boulder Badge, he turned back to the front again rather than proceeding. Mom and Kukui looked a lot younger, but it was definitely them. He read the names again, as if he expected them to change. Then he closed the book.

For a few moments, all was silent. Kukui chewed the inside of his mouth, waiting for a response. Ash stared at the plain book cover in his lap. Pikachu had not been able to read, nor understood the implications of the pictures, not recognizing baby Ash and instead having only seen Delia and Kukui with a strange child. Still, something about those had gotten to Ash, and he nuzzled against him. Finally, Burnet broke the silence. "...Ash? Are you all right?"

He set the book on the coffee table, reached up to pet Pikachu, and then stood with a distant smile. "I should get going. The search party won't wait forever."

"Ash…" Burnet said again. Kukui remained silent.

"Sorry. I think I just need some time to think." Burnet nodded, while Kukui remained panicking and numb. Ash made sure Rowlet and Meltan were tucked away properly in his backpack, called for Rotom, and then headed out.

* * *

Kukui couldn't function for the rest of the day. He kept it halfway together for Burnet, but once she left for work his anxiety symptoms exploded into full on panic attacks. He shook, he cried, he struggled to breathe. He paced the house. What had he done? What if Ash hated him now?

What if Ash didn't come home again at all?

He had spent over a decade without seeing him in person, but now that he'd gotten to  _ know _ Ash, he didn't want to let go. Knowing he may not have a choice in the matter, that he may not even get to say goodbye, was killing him.

Late that night, the door opened, and Kukui bolted upright from where he lay on the couch, only to deflate again when he saw it was Burnet. "Oh, hey…" Not that he wasn't happy to see her, of course, but… "Have you heard from him?"

She shook her head. Her shoes came off, her bag was set down, and she took a minute to go change into her pajamas for the evening. Once comfortable, though, she went to sit with Kukui, leaning against him.

Another hour came and went. "Have you eaten today?" Burnet asked. Kukui shook his head. "Let me go make you something, then."

Twenty minutes later, the door opened again, and again Kukui bolted upright. This time, there stood Ash. It was hard to read his expression from here. For several moments, everything stood still.

Then Ash began to move forward, and his mouth slowly widened into a smile. He slipped off his bag en route, and plopped down on the couch next to Kukui, wrapping his arms around him tightly.

Kukui was stunned, but after a moment returned the hug. He was reluctant to let go when Ash did, but made himself do so. Burnet watched from the kitchen, but decided to continue cooking (and eavesdrop) to avoid disturbing them. Pikachu hopped up on the adjacent couch, but also gave them their space. Rotom quietly lamented not getting the perfect father-son picture, but muted himself lest he accidentally ruin their moment.

Looking up to Kukui, Ash explained, "I talked things over with everyone. They all thought it was great that you're my dad." Hearing Ash say those last three words made it feel both more and less real. Kukui also wasn't sure how to feel about the fact this whole class suddenly knew his secret, but he supposed now that Ash knew, maybe it was time to be public with it anyway. 

"We all talked about what our families mean to us, through the good and the bad," Ash went on. His smile faltered, and his gaze fell. "I… learned a lot of stuff about Lillie and Gladion, too. And how bad Miss Lusamine really used to be." He couldn't believe he'd known them for this long without ever hearing any of it, had worked for Lusamine without ever getting that kind of vibe from her. But he shook his head and put the smile back on. "But they still love her and she's gotten better. And I think it's great that people can change."

Kukui's nerves were still on end, but he felt his pulse racing a little less, his headache starting to relax. "Yeah…?" He hoped he was right about where this was going.

"I also realized… I haven't seen Mom all that much since I left home, but it doesn't mean I don't still love her, right?" Kukui nodded, growing ever more hopeful. "I haven't seen Misty much since Johto, or Brock much since Sinnoh. But even if we stopped traveling together, we're still family." His smile grew sadder, but remained sincere. "I don't know why you were gone so long, but… Seeing how you were keeping up with all my achievements?" He nodded toward the scrapbook still on the table. "It shows you still cared."

Kukui slowly nodded. "Of course I did." How could he explain? To call it 'complicated' would be a cop-out. He could feed Ash the same excuses he fed himself for so long, but in the end he knew they were just excuses. More blunt than he'd ever been with the matter, he admitted, "I was just scared and stupid. I never should have put anything over being there for you. Not training, not work, not school."

Despite himself, Ash couldn't quite stop smiling. "It's okay!" he assured him. "Nothing will change how mad I was back then, but you're here now! We're here now, together! We're finally really a family, and I wouldn't trade that."

Kukui's eyes were watering again. "Ash…" He pulled the boy in for another tight hug.

Ash laughed as he struggled, being squished a bit awkwardly. "Hey, Professor, quit it!" He realized what he said about the time Kukui let go. "Er… I guess it's gonna take a while for me to get used to saying 'Dad'."

"Take as long as you need." Kukui was going to have to get used to hearing it, too, heh.

Burnet finally came back into the living area with the food she'd made. "You two are _precious_," she squealed, setting the food down before taking a seat on the other side of Kukui. 

"Oh man! Looks great!" Ash said, focus completely shifted to the food as if they hadn't been having a big emotional conversation five seconds ago.

"Speaking of dads, though... I take it you didn't find Mohn," Burnet inquired. She imagined Lusamine would have contacted her if they had.

Ash shook his head. "Not  _ yet. _ But we will." He grinned at Kukui and Burnet. "We'll find him and bring him home! Everyone deserves to be with their family."

* * *

Between defending his Championship title and spending more time with Kukui and Burnet, Ash stayed in Alola longer than he'd expected after the Manalo Conference ended. But eventually, his wanderlust called out to him, and he was off to his next adventure.

It was hard for Kukui and Burnet to let go-- harder than usual for Ash to say goodbye, too. But they knew that just because they'd be far apart didn't mean their bond would fade. "I'll call all the time," Ash promised.

"And I'll remind him!" piped up Rotom, recently transferred out of the Dex and into his new RotomPhone body in order to accompany Ash on his journey.

"Thank you, Rotom," said Burnet, before hugging Ash tightly. "Oh… I'm going to miss you so much."

Ash threw his arms around them both. "I'm gonna miss you guys, too!"

Kukui enclosed the group hug in his strong arms. He only wished he could protect his son forever, but he knew Ash could take care of himself, and he was honestly so excited to see just how he would surprise him next. "Take care, Ash," he said softly. "And remember, you'll always have a home here in Alola."


End file.
